Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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