But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
