shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
