It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize