I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
