She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Randomize
