is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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