just come out here and I will go home with you...
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
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Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
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Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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