Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
