bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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