so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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