I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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