kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
