Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
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