Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
