Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
