Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
