Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
