Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
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Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
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