i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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