I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
