My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
