the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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