Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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