This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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