And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
