so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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