what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
