there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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