Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
