Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You took a bar mat shot.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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