Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
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Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
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We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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