K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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