I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
