Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
