I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
