he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
