I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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