Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
