If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
