just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
