): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
