Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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