im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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