Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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