you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
