Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
