I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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