i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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