It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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