I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
