i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
