wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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