we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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