considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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