I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
