I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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