Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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