I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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