i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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