Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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