Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
