Is it because I queefed?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
i believe in u and ur pee
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
