well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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