i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize