Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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