girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
