Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
