seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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