grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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